“Rudeness is merely an expression of fear. People fear they won’t get what they want. The most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved, and they will open up like a flower.” – The Grand Budapest Hotel
Whenever a person is rude, mean, hateful, hurtful, offensive… try to go past their hostility and find the fear and insecurity that triggered the behavior.
People who are hurt tend to be hurtful.
People who are defensive tend to be offensive.
People who are insecure and unloved tend to bully to pass on their misery.
People who are afraid and don’t understand their fear nor attempt to manage them tend to express fear through negativity, or worse, hostility.
When you frame the hostility as such, you can find yourself more forgiving, more accepting, more loving, more mature in reacting to the person and the behavior. Instead of allowing yourself to be provoked or offended, you may be able to find a way to love this person back, or at least know how to shape your reaction better.
Imagine how much peace we can achieve if we learn to recognize our fear when it is taking shape, to confront it and to convert it into a positive experience.
Imagine how much peace we can achieve if we learn to see beyond a person’s hostility and see their fear, and be able to choose positivity and love over hatred and violence.
The next time you are confronted by haters and negative people, remember that it is only you who can authorize your response, and only you who can decide to choose what is positive reaction — kindness, compassion, love…